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Wednesday, January 31, 2007
What is this that I am feeling. I have an idea of what it may be, but its not even supposed to be a part of my chemistry. I feel as though I am jealous. Whats goin on? Well, lets see. I'm jealous of some boy, what the hell. Somewhere in my mind I have reasons to be jealous. He has and still is experiencing things that I can't, with someone I am talking to. Past out of this, he still gets to enjoy her home-cooked meals and her company. I mean I need to learn to let this go, right? I am not one to say that she cant have a life, she would never say that to me, and I dont intend on it either. But still I have this feeling of jealousy....Well, I'll just learn to get over it and move on with life. Realize the fact that I cannot physically sit down with her after she cooks a good meal. I just have to learn my place in all of this. That is cherrishing the time that I do get on the phone. Let her enjoy her occasional however many odd hours with her company. Do I have something against this guy? I dont know the answer to that question. But I'm grown ass man and I have never been jealous of anyone; there's noone out there that is a better man than me. So I'm going to surpress this new found emotion and let life go on. I shall live my life, allow her to have hers and be happy when the two intersect.
Posted at 02:33 am by EducatedBALLA
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Friday, January 19, 2007
Please believe that I do not want to be writing this right now....but I just need to talk to someone. There's nobodby to talk to. The one that I always call when I need to talk to someone is the same person that has me writing this. After looking back on the situation and trying to figure it out, all I can come up with is me repeating truths has upset her. I dont want her upset. She is like one of the best women in my life. I've been there for her, she's been there for me. She said she likes me, I never said it, but its such a strong posibility that its not even funny. I dont know what to do right now. She wont answer my calls....I really need to talk to her right now. My mind is all over the place and I'm not even sure that what I'm writing right now will even make sense to anyone that reads it, but I dont care.....I have only one thing, person that is, on my mind right now......*TEAR*
Posted at 02:30 am by EducatedBALLA
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Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Just talkin out the side of my neck.....
Well, how do I begin. I know that it's been a while since I have even thought about writing on here, but I have some ranting to do. Topic of this conversation......"females". Well only one at the moment.
So where to begin....the beginning? Okay, so like three years ago I met this one girl. It was an interesting summer to say the least. I may have done some questionable things over that summer and shown some type of feelings one way, but when it came down to it....I ended up liking the chick. But hey, I've never been a fan of long distance relationships. So we stay in contact. Then there comes that time where she gets into a relationship. I'm there to talk to, stick through the ups and downs of it. Hear more than I wanted to know about the romance in the relationship, but I stuck it out. Hear all about the break up and the hatred. But hey, we are still MILES apart. So then I hear about the boy at work. Then there is this other MAN that likes her. Cant forget about the double dates that she goes on, and not to mention the ones with the ex....yea, guess the hatred is gone. "Dinner dates" at midnight, where she is the chef....where in most others that "dinner date" has a different meaning, but who am I to judge. Then there's the long awaited re-uniting of friends. It was grand, except for the times when a brother gets shunned. Decent explanation for it though, who wants strong emotions only to become long distance friends again??? But shortly after that happens there is the confession. Nothing wrong with that, except that I hear a story on why she is almost in tears because she got "played"/"stood up". Hmmmm, how am I supposed to feel about that. But I'm that good friend, I'm still there. Another 1 a.m. "DINNER DATE". But I'm not gonna speculate on that one, besides the fact that it was at her apartment with the co-worker that she "doesn't" like any more.
Then comes the couple of days where there is something on her chest, bothering her. I've been there through thick and thin, talk to me about it...."No" is the reply. "Okay, well I'm eating, I'll call you back". Call back and she is talking to her friend. "Call you back when I'm done talking to XXX" she says. Hour rolls by, no return call. So I call back. Now she's talking to someone else, still cant talk to me...."I'll call you later, this is important"
Now I may not want to know what was discussed. All I know is that she was upset at one point and wouldnt talk to me about it, talks to them, tells me she's talking to them, but still wont let me know what it was about. Its kewl, I dont need to know any more, I think I'm feeling better now. Maybe I should go find a few "dinner dates"......
Posted at 11:18 am by EducatedBALLA
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Monday, September 25, 2006
Well, it's been interesting. Its been a long week of school. Duquesne has been an emotional place lately.... It is mostly understandable, it is just too much for me. But the weekend proved to be interesting.
Friday Savage hits me with the IM saying "Moody says bring your computer up. He wants to add that video card" I'm like kewl. On the way though I brought up the fact that I still needed to purchase WC3. That was an adventure, ending up at Best Buy. I got the game and we stopped at Longhorn....good food. Then DOTA happened, and happened, and next thing you know, it's 7a.m. It was a lot of fun tho. Saturday involved some more DOTA, before heading to Tequla Willies, since I had free admission passes. It proved to be umm....there are no real words. I was entertained but not satisfied. Titus called the place "The Jibba Factory" That shits hilarious. So as they continued to play good songs and there no booty in sight to go dance with Moody says it's time to bounce. We dont wanna go back to school so we walk down to H2O. Man it was only like 12:15 when we got there. The security was nice, which we appreciated. But the inside was DULL!!!! the bounce at the door said that it WOULD get packed. From the looks of it inside, we doubted it. But after investing $10 we decided we would stick around. I swear at a lil after 1 ppl just started rollin in. It got a nice lil crowd, that didnt stop coming even as they were shutting down at 3:15. But man there was a point when Moody and I got Intercepted!!!! There was this one girl, who I think was cute but Titus and Moody don't agree with as much, that had a "speechless" booty. It was so nice. So when we tried to get the dance one of her friends snatched us up and danced. They were fun dances but it wasn't what I wanted. When I finally got to what I wanted, I swear she only gave me 4 beats before hittin me with the ill side step. OUCH!!! Oh well.
After we leave we hit up B to come to Steak n Shake with us. He said he would meet us down there. There are always good times there. But at one point this one chick that was at H2O walked in. She was mad fine, which was confirmed by Savage. She went in, used the restroom, the proceded to leave. When she go to the door I caught her eyes for a second and said "yea, just reassuring you that you're beautiful. Good night." Now from my boys point of view that was incredibly random, and of course they bust out in laughter, like why does this negro always do shit like that. I admit it was an interesting thing to say, but they didnt see the whole scene. As the girl walked by the counter all of the cooks stopped to stare, and she definitely caught them. She was laughing with her friend when I made the comment. I thought it was hilarious to say at the time.
Well the weekend ended with a Steeler loss and some more DOTA. Ah well, classes in the A.M.
Posted at 12:32 am by EducatedBALLA
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Thursday, September 21, 2006
I know it has been forever and a day since I have posted anything. But I now need this to vent. I mean after that whole shooting thing, my life has been rattled. I'm physically okay, but mentally..... It is over now though, one guy was caught and the other turned himself in. It irks me to watch the attorney on TV say that his client is innocent!!! I expect the father to have his son's defense, but really you gotta know your son is on some other shit! The people at the Duq have this new found bonding. I dont see it lasting cuz it is only because of a tragic event......niggas aint like eachother before. I'm just now hoping that life picks up real soon. I cant take any more stress in my life.
I'm out before I start sayin shit that I may regret!
Posted at 01:59 am by EducatedBALLA
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Sunday, October 23, 2005
So this weekend reminded me soo much of freshmen year.....SOO NICE!
Friday we went to see Doom. Not all that great but it was quite entertaining. Afterwards we chilled and got details on the party situation. Dowes it is for Pitts pre-homecoming jump-off. Soooo many fine women there that night. There was a lot of fun to be had. Moody had the most. He stayed on the prowl, I got tagged for the night by one individual, and Savage......that nigga musta been trippin, he aint do shit. Outside afterwards I had mercy on Titus' life and only whispered the "butt-butt". Hows it feel guy?
Saturday I got to see my momma. She bought me lunch and we talked for a lil while. Then back to CMU, which I had left at 12, for lifting at 530. This was the start of what we had to know was gonna be a good day. On our way to the gym we pass some gaming group on campus. We walk in, look around, notice a few nice games, then get ready to leave. But, Moody spots the projector and the game that it is playin......HALO 2. We had to play. It was only gonna be one game, but turned into 3. So much fun. Then lifting happened. That went lovely as well, we gettin swoll. Back to the room to get directions for the Homecomming party. The directions that we got were horrible. Had all kinds of F*ed up. But Titus came through with the clutch move by writing down the address as well. As we roll up, Moody and I recognize to be the place that we were at fresmen year. We walk in, after a lil contemplation of $15 to get in. But once inside Savage and myself take note of how many pretty women were already there and it was only 11:30. The dancing starts and we kinda just chill in the cut. We go upstairs to sit when some Pittsburgh rap group decides they want to put on a show. They had decent beats, but they were pretty much whack. Christine had a fake ID so she wanted to buy a drink for someone. I decided I'd be the one. From now on the "Alabama Slammer" will be known as my "pimp juice". Afterwards I kinda just transformed. So many women to dance with and so much dancing took place. I swear at one point the only way to describe the dance floor is an "orgy". Everyone dancing, no where to move to, and people usin each other as supports. It was like pivot and dance. I had quite a few dances with quite a few beautiful women (the one Duq chick was quite lovely, and the RM chick.......*interesting*) The night ended at Steak N Shake as usual.
Wake up the next day and the Steelers win!!!!! What a weekend. I will go watch Snacth now and then go to sleep and face the harsh real world in the morning.
Posted at 08:52 pm by EducatedBALLA
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Sunday, October 16, 2005
So yea, this week was interesting. All throughout the week I was mad salty and I still dont understand why, OH WELL!
So on Thursday during lifting we discussed our new facebook group and my officer name "BUTT-BUTT Bitch!" I was sooo not pleased, mostly cuz it was true. So afterwards I plan out a great idea to start my reputation. I run for the bus stop after telling Savage that I was out. As i get there I realize that he has to walk back past me to go play ball. So I let the busses pass, since he thinks I'm already home, and wait for him. He crosses the street, I follow, "BUTT-BUTT". I get my FIRST one.
So friday was mad weak. Class, work, then a bus ride up to CMU. Supposed to meet up with Moody and Savage for the movie. These niggas never went to sleep til 4 p.m. on Friday. They aint answer the phone or me pounding on their door. So I chill in the cluster for a while, nothin pops off and after 2.5 hrs of sitting there I leave. Walk past the Sigma party, WHACK. To the Duq it is. Moody and Savage call me around 12 and 12:30. So I take my ass to sleep, they had nothing good to say besides "Sorry".
Now Saturday, whole nother story. Homecoming took place, saw a few beautiful women walkin around, both black and white, and anything else that they may be. Go shopping, some new shoes were copped. Phone was ordered to be replaced *YAY* Between 1230 and 430 was good chillin time. So then I go to CMU for a full day....work out, shopping, chicken fry, movie. Work out was lovely. Shopping wasnt too bad either. The actual cooking was quite an adventure. Since I had been named the Bitch of the Butt-Butt I fealt it necessary to change my rep (worste thing I could have ever done!!!!) I tag Banji once, the I straight lift Moody, but Titus is still questioning my abilities. On the way to the movie I get Banji with the ill point-blank Butt-Butt. Layed the mofo out. LOL. It was sooo funny. We watch the movie, which was great (Batman Begins). Afterwards I let Titus know of the incedent with Banji. He continues to down talk it. So Moody chimes in and reinacts the whole thing, bringing laughter to us all. Banji my man is just taking it, plotting. After being fed up the nigga takes actions to redeem himself, on me. I see 2 quick steps, I know what is coming before I even here him yell, so I brace myself. I was a football player, my strong stance is in the squat possition, so I go for it. This niggas legs gonna hit me in the shoulder. He flips, like all the way over me. Landed on his head then the legs kinda finised the flip. After landed he went completely motionless, I was scared shitless cuz I aint know if death had just happened, paralyzation, SO HORRIFIED. After we got signs of life, things kinda felt better. We laughed, made sure he was okay, but a few giggles still escaped us ignorant asses. Tell me why like all of CMUs police show up on the scene, this is when Banji regain consciousness again, they were actually doing their job. We get Banji back to the room, but this nigga is straight wildin out. Pissed at the world, throwing shit, cussin everyone out, just being difficult. Concussion may have happened so we took care of him for quite some time. Everything seems to be okay at the moment. I let him get a lil rest. But it is now about time to wake him and make sure all is still good, so this must end now. PE@CE.
Posted at 05:12 am by EducatedBALLA
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Monday, October 10, 2005
Well this past week wasnt all that eventful. I had an exam on Monday and one on Tuesday. After that I had no work do for the week, It was mad chill.
I finally went home to see the fam. Friday I went to my HS's football game.....they lost *SIGH* That night I watched "Kung-fu Hustle", GOOD movie.
I slept in on saturday and did absolutely nothing the entire day. That night one of my sisters friends was having his B-day party at the U Club. OH BOY.....not. But whatever. There were some fine hunnies there, and one that kinda came back from the past. She was still lookin right tho. Definitely copped a few dances with her *GRIN*
Didnt get to sleep til like 4 but still had to be up at 6:30 to get back to the Duq. Boss Man needed someone from the office to sit at the table for open house. I woulda had fun if: my co-worker would have showed (she's good company, and easy on the eyes), I aint have to spend the last hour by myself, and most importantly....it wasnt so DAMN cold, especially for a brother with only 2 hrs of sleep. I was actually good and sold the Duq, although I kinda felt like a criminal in the act (kinda like bagger weekend and tellin them that its always that fun) Afterwards I headed to CMU to play some ball which never happened.....*TEAR* Then came back to the Duq to play Halo.....I love whoppin on these kids, however I actually lost a match (it was all swords on Beaver Creek, just some dumb shit).
AHHHHH WELL.....GOOD NIGHT
Posted at 01:07 am by EducatedBALLA
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Monday, October 03, 2005
Well.....Friday was definitely a waste of money. The party was horrible. I had fun, but that was cuz we were cuttin up, the party was whack.
Saturday.....Now that was a fun day. After some careful planning We actually jumped Titus and took him out for his b-day. The tackle was way too much fun. I think that his pride was hurt that "Lampkin" was the one to restrain him. But it was good times, especially since we have it taped! The night at Olive Garden was quite enjoyable as well. We have fun everywhere we go. The night ended with an extreme 1 minute newspaper battle between me and moody. It was intense for such a short amout of time. It was documented as well. Tell me why Savage and I kilt a pizza afterwards, like we aint just eat at Olive Garden for dinner!!!
Sunday I saw my family, my sister has a tattoo now. Still dont know if I agree yet, but it doesnt really matter. THen we watched Rize at the UC.
I'm kinda mad right now, cuz in all of my time away from CMU this weekend I was studying, which really was a lot of time, only to take this exam and realized it didnt matter if I studied at all. I'm pissed!!!!!
Posted at 05:40 pm by EducatedBALLA
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Sunday, September 25, 2005
I dont know how I feel right now........!!!! This weekend was something else.
Friday, had to assist someone in an airport trip and then navigate back because of a fire which had fire trucks blocking the highway. Made it back in time for the UC movie "Unleashed" which was good. Afterwards my friends had mad work to do so I left, did a lil reading, and was in bed by 1!!!!!!
Saturday during the day I was mad lazy. I aint do nothin but play some video games. Finally realizing that the day was slipping away I made moves, or attempted to. Savage ended up coming and picking me up so I could help him with his storage.......once again no luck. We watched "Fists of Legend" which was kwazieness. Then watched "Longest Yard" in the UC. Afterwards we were posed to play HALO. Sham put the veto to that sayin he had work to do. We were pissed, but none of us really complained cuz, this year especially, we are all about work first. So we do randomness. We warned a freshmen that was headed to a house party in Oakland that they never end up good. We got the confimation later on that the party was jumpin......untill the Cops showed up. It always happens, paddy wagon and all. SAE was having their big party. We pretty much gave up on frat parties a while ago so it wasnt on our list. We ended up wanting to go in both out of boredom and to upset others that were getting turned down, cuz we know ppl there, they know us and we could get in. That didnt happen tho. Moody and I ended up wildin' out in moorwood. It was a ridiculous newspaper battle. I actually won this event and it was video documented. I did a few other questionable things during our breaks, which had this one guy mean mug me. For some reason Savage has been missing our claims of this part of me, its not a gift, its not a curse, it just happens. Its the "white girl magnet". He noticed when I got like 3 random conversations that I did not spark at all. And it was only re-emphasised at Steak n Shake. There it went a lil further cuz Titus kept pushing me to actually respond to it. So shameful.
The night would have ended just fine. It SHOULD have ended just fine. But it did not. On the way home going down the hill by campus this car started acting stupid. It was creepin like it was gonna turn and was doing so in the parking lane on this road. Savage passes by the car, in a safe paced way clearly still on our side of the road. Tell me why there was a F*in cop right there, that felt like flashing his lights. ARRRRRGGGGHHHHH! I dont like cops and he helped keep the feeling alive. Savage ended up being tagged with a $280 ticket for "reckless driving" saying he was speeding, crossed the double line and did so in "moderate" traffic. Now mind you this is Pittsburgh and it was 4 in the morning. There was clearly no FREAKING traffic. I'm sooo pissed right now, and I can only imagine Savages feelings right now.
Hopefully my Steelers win tommorrow to make me happy.
Posted at 05:00 am by EducatedBALLA
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MY PEOPLES!!!!
My boy Chris
My girl Jasmine (UNC)
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